Erin Remembering

My Mom

As we approach another year of celebration, both for the love of our Savior and birthdays, I feel a definite void in my life. It’s been such a treat my whole life to share my birthday with Mom, albeit a day apart we still always had a celebration with Seth, Cole myself and Mom. Of course, Mom always being the most important!!!  As it should be!

This year is so different and so vacant for me and I believe I speak on Seth and Cole’s behalf as well.  We looked forward every year to the “big” party and gathering with our loved ones to celebrate life and relationships. Things have definitely changed for all of us this year, but I’m finding it to be especially sorrowful at this time. I’m not trying to be selfish because we all are grieving in our own way.

I miss her! I miss everything about her. I loved how Mom would always tell me I was the greatest birthday gift she ever received. I miss her silly quirks, her beautiful laughter! How she could bring life to a room with her gift of gab and the beautiful way she made each of us feel welcome. The way she always made us all feel so special during our birthdays. I miss picking up the phone and talking to her when I’m down, and her never ending compassion and support. I could always open up to her and really let her see me, and she always understood how I felt. She had wonderful analogies and tied them into what I was feeling or aching over. She loved my children! She adored every moment she had with them. Seth and I just spoke last weekend, and he expressed just how much “Grandma always had my back”. He said he always felt she would be there for him no matter what. Mom taught me that quality.

Mostly, I miss the structure of our family unit. How things will never be the same without her. Not to discount Daddy, but Mom was truly the glue that held us together. She made us better siblings to each other. She asked us to always forgive each other and to see the good in one another. I find it sad that I’m just now appreciating how it felt to walk into her presence.

I love you Mom, you are never far from my thoughts. You are always in my heart! I’m grateful that one day we will reunite and I will again see the beauty of you, my wonderful mother.

Erin