A
Brief Summary of the Life of Anita Brooks
The loss of Anita has been devastating to me. I had never realized the affect we had upon
each other until after she left. I
cannot speak for her now so I’ll confine my remarks to the effect she has had
upon my life and the life of others.
Before we married, I was a very shy young man. I had very little confidence in myself. I wasn’t particularly attracted to her when
we first met. My sister Vivian and my
mother had a lot to do with me getting acquainted with Anita. I had never dated a girl before and I was too
shy to ask for a date. My mother
insisted that I learn how to Dance and so she enrolled me for ballroom dancing
lessons. Then I finally got the
courage to ask a girl for a date. It was
not Anita! I took the girl to see a movie
and I believe we held hands during part of the movie. I wasn’t attracted to this girl and we never
went out again. Through insistence of
Vivian, I finally asked Anita for a date.
Her friends at church after a few dates, asked her how did he kiss. She said “I don’t know, he has never tried to
kiss me.” They made a wager with her
that she try to kiss me. After our next
date, I pulled into her parents driveway on Aubrey Lane in Eugene to let her
out as I had planned to return home in Goshen.
She hesitated for a moment, then according to the wager, she planted a
big kiss on my lips and quickly exited the car and went into her house through
the front door. I sat there for some
minutes in some kind of shock or amazement not knowing what to think. Not knowing about the wager until much later
in life, As I reflected, does she like me enough to want to kiss me? I believed that must be true and it began a
serious romance believing that her kiss was a measure of affection. I know now that it wasn’t, but it started me
to believe that she really liked me. No
one ever liked me I thought as I had never had a girlfriend and maybe only one
or two friends total. Anyway, I began to
seriously date Anita on a regular basis.
We went to night clubs and danced together a lot. Our relationship became more serious and I
finally asked her if she had enough interest in me to marry me. Without hesitation she said yes. We kept it to ourselves for awhile and then I went off to school at Utah State in Logan
and came home on spring break to buy her an engagement ring. Most of her family thought the marriage
would end in a divorce as she was a daughter with parents having considerable
means and I had nothing. All I had a was
a car and the GI Bill to attend school.
There are two reasons for relating the early part of
our lives: (1) To show a contrast between what was then and
what seems to be what is now. Great changes in our society have occurred
over the past 64 years. Many young
people live together before marriage. Under
such circumstances there is little commitment to each other. Many have children out of wedlock before
marriage having little respect for these children by not giving them an
honorable name. We have seven great
grandchildren that were born out of wedlock which has created great sadness in the
hearts of the great grandparents for these innocent wonderful children. But, putting all of this aside we have great
love in our hearts for our grandchildren and our great grandchildren. I think that is demonstrated by our actions.
(2) Secondly, because when Anita left, I feel she
took with her all she gave me when I married her. I have experienced a loss of confidence,
inability to stay focused upon my book writing and family history work,
fearfulness, and inability to communicate effectively. She made me what I had become.
We went to our first job in Riverside, California,
where we had Shauna and Kevin and Randy.
I was called to be the Branch President.
Anita and I took the job at Riverside along with church assignments with
great confidence. It was a great life
full of friends and fun times going to Los Angeles and dancing to Lawrence Welk,
attending the Los Angeles temple dedication, going to Big Bear camping only to
become so scared that we returned home the same night.
Then to pick up and move to a strange town where we
knew no one, packing all our belonging and putting them on a moving van that
took 6 weeks to deliver after we arrived in Ft Collins. What a thrill it was to have Anita by my side
giving me the confidence to make a move to further my education. She took the brunt of the move by taking care
of five little children while I went to work and to study each day. Learning to live with a new set of friends,
finding a new place to live, and accepting new church assignments was a
wonderful experience with her by my side and with my children. We lived together in honor and in
righteousness sacrificing for family.
Anita made it wonderful for me. I had learned to love her far more than
I could have ever imagined compared to when we were married.
Then tragedy struck and we lost our sweet little
rosebud, as President Kimble called her, when she was just nine years old. Our testimonies of who we were and the power
of the resurrection held us together. I
went on to finish my Master’s degree and the continued on toward my PhD. Anita loved to go to auctions that were often
held in the Ft. Collins area. We bought
used furniture and refinished them as taught to her by the Relief Society. It was a necessity for her to fix up and
decorate our home for beauty and comfort.
I was never embarrassed to bring any one home at any time as she made
our home open to everyone so it looked like a place of beauty and a place to
walk into.
Two more children came along and then a decision
after ten years in Fort Collins to make another move. After I finished my PhD, I learned that a
position at Oregon State University was being vacated that was in the area of my
expertise. Anita was ecstatic and begged to give it consideration. “Just think of what it would be like to raise
our children near their grandparents,” she would offer to me. I applied and I was soon selected for the
position. We drew out all of our
government retirement and built a home at 3904 Clarence Circle. It was a dream that came to reality and she
made it like the temple. As we looked
back over our lives at that time, we knew that we had been directed by the Holy
Spirit but she was my strength, my confidence, and my supporter. She always made our children believe that we
were as we were because of me. No! Hopefully, my children will see that it was
their mother’s strength and devotion to their father that made us who we
are. Yes, I’ll take responsibility for
the negative aspects of our lives but all the positive aspects of our lives go
to their mother. When the ship loses its
anchor, then it becomes adrift and then what?
Well, in this tribute to my children’s mother on her
birthday of April 20, the ship had not lost its anchor at that time in our
lives and we are off to another great adventure. When the opportunity became known that we
could be part of an international group to work in Egypt, Anita said, “lets do
it”. I was, at that time, a full
professor, tenured, and very comfortable in my position. I had several graduate students doing
wonderful research. Do we really want to
leave our secure little niche to go into a strange land? I was frightened by the prospect of doing
such a thing at that time. “ but, it
would be such a great experience for our two daughters still living at home and
for us”, she countered. Yes, with
Anita by my side we could do it and make it memorable. So, in 1977 we departed, leaving family
behind. Anita’s parents believing that
they would not see us again. The
adventure included 8 years in Egypt and five years in Yemen the adventure being
concluded in 1992 for a total of 13 years.
Anita relished very moment of it.
She drove in Cairo like a taxi driver, she knew all the merchants and
bought lots of gold. She was the life of
the Cairo Branch and influenced the lives of many of the women as attested by
the book, “The Gift of Anita”. During
our time spent in Egypt, she wanted so very much for the family to come to
Egypt and see the sights. Among those we
hosted were our children and their spouses (Taunya but not David), Anita’s
parents, her sister and husband, Taunya’s parents and Taunya’s sister, Anita’s
cousins, Evelyn and Wanda, and their spouses.
Anita was always the gracious host and she went out of her way to make
each guest comfortable and happy. Since
I usually had to work, the responsibility fell primarily upon her.
After we concluded our first tour in Egypt, I
returned to Corvallis without Anita and the girls due to a commitment I had
with the University. They returned to
Corvallis about 3 months later, another example of her strength and support of
the family. After a quarter of teaching in my department,
I became bored with my work and took a position as assistant director of the
Yemen Agricultural Development and Support Program. Once again I felt and had the support of
Anita to continue with the international work.
Unbeknown to us when I took the job, it later would require that I spend
several months in Yemen on TDY solving many administrative problems with the
Yemen government as well as within our own organization. This would mean that
Anita and I would be separated for three or four months. I have published a book of letters to Anita
while I was away from her and the girls. Kathleen and Erin. It finally became necessary for us to move to
Yemen as part of my position. Anita was
excited to go but Erin was still in school and Kathleen was at BYU and we
pondered how we could do it as there was no American high school in Yemen. Erin would have to attend a school in
Spain. This decision to move to Yemen at
that time had a profound effect upon the lives of our two daughters, Kathleen
and Erin. But Anita was so supportive and
had the faith that all would turn to be a blessing to us all depending upon the
faithfulness of Kathleen and Erin. That part of this narrative belongs to them
and since this is about Anita, they can tell their own story.
Without the children in Yemen Anita needed something
to occupy her time. She got a job with the U.S. Government teaching English as
a second language to Yemeni military men.
She loved the job and the men loved her. Her greatest talent lies in
teaching. Her many experiences with
these men were both humorous and scary.
While living in Yemen, she had the opportunity to take a tour in Russia
without me which she thoroughly enjoyed.
It was during this time in Yemen that her father’s
health began to fail. She returned to
Veneta where her father and mother were living.
She helped her mother in the final days of her father’s life and when
her father died she had a heart attack and could not attend her father’s
funeral. The stress in dealing wither
father’s failing days was simply too much,
I was in Yemen at the time, but I was contacted immediately and told
that my father-in-law had passed away, but I was not told about Anita’a heart
attack until I arrived in Oregon. It was
very difficult for Anita not to be there at the funeral, but the heart doctor
refused to make an allowance. After the
funeral, I had to return to Yemen but Anita had to stay for therapy. Her heart problem was solved by catheter and
exercise. After returning from the hospital to her mother’s home in Veneta, she
walked five miles each and every day for more than a month until she was
finally released to return to Yemen.
Later after we returned from international work, it was determined that
her heart had completely healed and there was no sign of a heart attack. Her determination to heal her heart by
walking everyday was a real test of self-discipline.
If I could remember all the examples of Anita’s
devotion and selfless service to her children and her family it would fill a
book. A few more examples that I do remember will suffice.
At the end of our tour in Yemen, I was contacted to
determine if I would like to return to Egypt for two years to work with the
same Egyptians I had previously worked with.
Anita and I agreed that it would be very enjoyable to return. However, just a few months prior to the
transfer to the new assignment, Anita’s sister, Belva called and asked if Anita
could come and help her take care of her invalid husband. Anita agreed that if it was ok with me that
she could come, but that I would have to make all the packing and moving
arrangements to move to Cairo from Yemen.
Belva said, she just couldn’t take care of her husband alone and needed
help. So at great expense, Anita
traveled to Vancouver, Washington to stay with her sister and help take care of
a man she did not know. Again, Anita is
found performing selfless service under very difficult circumstances. After Belva’s husband died, Anita returned
and we began a new tour of duty in Cairo, Egypt.
Upon returning to Oregon after our final tour of
duty in Egypt, the question of where to live weighed heavily upon her mind as
well as mine. Although there are many
interesting details of our settling down after these international tours of
duty, our children will no doubt remember their mother’s devotion to her
children and assisting them with their lives.
Yes, we finally settled in Wilsonville,
Oregon to attend the Canby First Ward.
Our home was constructed 20 years ago and there was never a moment that
Anita did not rejoice in her home and thanked God each and every day for
it. She died in the place that she loved
the most. Oh, how she is missed!
Whether or not her husband will make it
in this world without her is uncertain, but he hears a distant voice saying “
Roy, you are a strong man, I know you can make it. Just remember all that we have done together
and we’ll soon be together again”.
I hope my children will fill in the
blanks during these past twenty years of their mother’s life and write down
their own experiences with her to show their children who she really was and
what a wonderful grandmother and great grandmother she was.
By Royal Brooks
