A Brief Summary of the Life of Anita Brooks

A Brief Summary of the Life of Anita Brooks

The loss of Anita has been devastating to me.  I had never realized the affect we had upon each other until after she left.  I cannot speak for her now so I’ll confine my remarks to the effect she has had upon my life and the life of others. 

Before we married, I was a very shy young man.  I had very little confidence in myself.  I wasn’t particularly attracted to her when we first met.  My sister Vivian and my mother had a lot to do with me getting acquainted with Anita.  I had never dated a girl before and I was too shy to ask for a date.  My mother insisted that I learn how to Dance and so she enrolled me for ballroom dancing lessons.    Then I finally got the courage to ask a girl for a date.  It was not Anita!   I took the girl to see a movie and I believe we held hands during part of the movie.  I wasn’t attracted to this girl and we never went out again.  Through insistence of Vivian, I finally asked Anita for a date.  Her friends at church after a few dates, asked her how did he kiss.  She said “I don’t know, he has never tried to kiss me.”  They made a wager with her that she try to kiss me.  After our next date, I pulled into her parents driveway on Aubrey Lane in Eugene to let her out as I had planned to return home in Goshen.  She hesitated for a moment, then according to the wager, she planted a big kiss on my lips and quickly exited the car and went into her house through the front door.  I sat there for some minutes in some kind of shock or amazement not knowing what to think.  Not knowing about the wager until much later in life, As I reflected, does she like me enough to want to kiss me?  I believed that must be true and it began a serious romance believing that her kiss was a measure of affection.  I know now that it wasn’t, but it started me to believe that she really liked me.  No one ever liked me I thought as I had never had a girlfriend and maybe only one or two friends total.  Anyway, I began to seriously date Anita on a regular basis.  We went to night clubs and danced together a lot.  Our relationship became more serious and I finally asked her if she had enough interest in me to marry me.  Without hesitation she said yes.  We kept it to ourselves for awhile and then  I went off to school at Utah State in Logan and came home on spring break to buy her an engagement ring.   Most of her family thought the marriage would end in a divorce as she was a daughter with parents having considerable means and I had nothing.  All I had a was a car and the GI Bill to attend school.

There are two reasons for relating the early part of our lives: (1)   To show a contrast between what was then and what seems to be what is now.   Great changes in our society have occurred over the past 64 years.   Many young people live together before marriage.  Under such circumstances there is little commitment to each other.  Many have children out of wedlock before marriage having little respect for these children by not giving them an honorable name.  We have seven great grandchildren that were born out of wedlock which has created great sadness in the hearts of the great grandparents for these innocent wonderful children.  But, putting all of this aside we have great love in our hearts for our grandchildren and our great grandchildren.  I think that is demonstrated by our actions.

(2) Secondly, because when Anita left, I feel she took with her all she gave me when I married her.  I have experienced a loss of confidence, inability to stay focused upon my book writing and family history work, fearfulness, and inability to communicate effectively.  She made me what I had become. 

We went to our first job in Riverside, California, where we had Shauna and Kevin and Randy.  I was called to be the Branch President.  Anita and I took the job at Riverside along with church assignments with great confidence.  It was a great life full of friends and fun times going to Los Angeles and dancing to Lawrence Welk, attending the Los Angeles temple dedication, going to Big Bear camping only to become so scared that we returned home the same night.   

Then to pick up and move to a strange town where we knew no one, packing all our belonging and putting them on a moving van that took 6 weeks to deliver after we arrived in Ft Collins.  What a thrill it was to have Anita by my side giving me the confidence to make a move to further my education.  She took the brunt of the move by taking care of five little children while I went to work and to study each day.  Learning to live with a new set of friends, finding a new place to live, and accepting new church assignments was a wonderful experience with her by my side and with my children.  We lived together in honor and in righteousness sacrificing for family.  Anita made it wonderful for me. I had learned to love her far more than I could have ever imagined compared to when we were married.

Then tragedy struck and we lost our sweet little rosebud, as President Kimble called her, when she was just nine years old.  Our testimonies of who we were and the power of the resurrection held us together.  I went on to finish my Master’s degree and the continued on toward my PhD.  Anita loved to go to auctions that were often held in the Ft. Collins area.  We bought used furniture and refinished them as taught to her by the Relief Society.  It was a necessity for her to fix up and decorate our home for beauty and comfort.  I was never embarrassed to bring any one home at any time as she made our home open to everyone so it looked like a place of beauty and a place to walk into.

Two more children came along and then a decision after ten years in Fort Collins to make another move.  After I finished my PhD, I learned that a position at Oregon State University was being vacated that was in the area of my expertise. Anita was ecstatic and begged to give it consideration.  “Just think of what it would be like to raise our children near their grandparents,” she would offer to me.  I applied and I was soon selected for the position.  We drew out all of our government retirement and built a home at 3904 Clarence Circle.  It was a dream that came to reality and she made it like the temple.  As we looked back over our lives at that time, we knew that we had been directed by the Holy Spirit but she was my strength, my confidence, and my supporter.  She always made our children believe that we were as we were because of me.  No!  Hopefully, my children will see that it was their mother’s strength and devotion to their father that made us who we are.  Yes, I’ll take responsibility for the negative aspects of our lives but all the positive aspects of our lives go to their mother.  When the ship loses its anchor, then it becomes adrift and then what?

Well, in this tribute to my children’s mother on her birthday of April 20, the ship had not lost its anchor at that time in our lives and we are off to another great adventure.  When the opportunity became known that we could be part of an international group to work in Egypt, Anita said, “lets do it”.   I was, at that time, a full professor, tenured, and very comfortable in my position.  I had several graduate students doing wonderful research.  Do we really want to leave our secure little niche to go into a strange land?   I was frightened by the prospect of doing such a thing at that time.  “ but, it would be such a great experience for our two daughters still living at home and for us”, she countered.    Yes, with Anita by my side we could do it and make it memorable.  So, in 1977 we departed, leaving family behind.  Anita’s parents believing that they would not see us again.  The adventure included 8 years in Egypt and five years in Yemen the adventure being concluded in 1992 for a total of 13 years.  Anita relished very moment of it.  She drove in Cairo like a taxi driver, she knew all the merchants and bought lots of gold.  She was the life of the Cairo Branch and influenced the lives of many of the women as attested by the book, “The Gift of Anita”.   During our time spent in Egypt, she wanted so very much for the family to come to Egypt and see the sights.  Among those we hosted were our children and their spouses (Taunya but not David), Anita’s parents, her sister and husband, Taunya’s parents and Taunya’s sister, Anita’s cousins, Evelyn and Wanda, and their spouses.  Anita was always the gracious host and she went out of her way to make each guest comfortable and happy.  Since I usually had to work, the responsibility fell primarily upon her.

After we concluded our first tour in Egypt, I returned to Corvallis without Anita and the girls due to a commitment I had with the University.  They returned to Corvallis about 3 months later, another example of her strength and support of the family.    After a quarter of teaching in my department, I became bored with my work and took a position as assistant director of the Yemen Agricultural Development and Support Program.  Once again I felt and had the support of Anita to continue with the international work.  Unbeknown to us when I took the job, it later would require that I spend several months in Yemen on TDY solving many administrative problems with the Yemen government as well as within our own organization. This would mean that Anita and I would be separated for three or four months.  I have published a book of letters to Anita while I was away from her and the girls. Kathleen and Erin.  It finally became necessary for us to move to Yemen as part of my position.  Anita was excited to go but Erin was still in school and Kathleen was at BYU and we pondered how we could do it as there was no American high school in Yemen.  Erin would have to attend a school in Spain.  This decision to move to Yemen at that time had a profound effect upon the lives of our two daughters, Kathleen and Erin.  But Anita was so supportive and had the faith that all would turn to be a blessing to us all depending upon the faithfulness of Kathleen and Erin. That part of this narrative belongs to them and since this is about Anita, they can tell their own story.

Without the children in Yemen Anita needed something to occupy her time. She got a job with the U.S. Government teaching English as a second language to Yemeni military men.  She loved the job and the men loved her. Her greatest talent lies in teaching.  Her many experiences with these men were both humorous and scary.  While living in Yemen, she had the opportunity to take a tour in Russia without me which she thoroughly enjoyed. 

It was during this time in Yemen that her father’s health began to fail.  She returned to Veneta where her father and mother were living.  She helped her mother in the final days of her father’s life and when her father died she had a heart attack and could not attend her father’s funeral.  The stress in dealing wither father’s failing days was simply too much,  I was in Yemen at the time, but I was contacted immediately and told that my father-in-law had passed away, but I was not told about Anita’a heart attack until I arrived in Oregon.  It was very difficult for Anita not to be there at the funeral, but the heart doctor refused to make an allowance.   After the funeral, I had to return to Yemen but Anita had to stay for therapy.  Her heart problem was solved by catheter and exercise. After returning from the hospital to her mother’s home in Veneta, she walked five miles each and every day for more than a month until she was finally released to return to Yemen.  Later after we returned from international work, it was determined that her heart had completely healed and there was no sign of a heart attack.  Her determination to heal her heart by walking everyday was a real test of self-discipline.

If I could remember all the examples of Anita’s devotion and selfless service to her children and her family it would fill a book. A few more examples that I do remember will suffice.

At the end of our tour in Yemen, I was contacted to determine if I would like to return to Egypt for two years to work with the same Egyptians I had previously worked with.  Anita and I agreed that it would be very enjoyable to return.  However, just a few months prior to the transfer to the new assignment, Anita’s sister, Belva called and asked if Anita could come and help her take care of her invalid husband.  Anita agreed that if it was ok with me that she could come, but that I would have to make all the packing and moving arrangements to move to Cairo from Yemen.  Belva said, she just couldn’t take care of her husband alone and needed help.  So at great expense, Anita traveled to Vancouver, Washington to stay with her sister and help take care of a man she did not know.  Again, Anita is found performing selfless service under very difficult circumstances.  After Belva’s husband died, Anita returned and we began a new tour of duty in Cairo, Egypt.

Upon returning to Oregon after our final tour of duty in Egypt, the question of where to live weighed heavily upon her mind as well as mine.  Although there are many interesting details of our settling down after these international tours of duty, our children will no doubt remember their mother’s devotion to her children and assisting them with their lives.

Yes, we finally settled in Wilsonville, Oregon to attend the Canby First Ward.  Our home was constructed 20 years ago and there was never a moment that Anita did not rejoice in her home and thanked God each and every day for it.  She died in the place that she loved the most.  Oh, how she is missed!

Whether or not her husband will make it in this world without her is uncertain, but he hears a distant voice saying “ Roy, you are a strong man, I know you can make it.  Just remember all that we have done together and we’ll soon be together again”.

I hope my children will fill in the blanks during these past twenty years of their mother’s life and write down their own experiences with her to show their children who she really was and what a wonderful grandmother and great grandmother she was.

By Royal Brooks