Love Letters

 In an earlier blog, I mentioned the importance of letters in family history.  As I have been going through some of the things left behind by my deceased wife and mother of my 6 living children, I came across some memorabilia that Anita had kept and for a very long period of time.  It along with others items which I may refer to at a later time, must have meant a great deal to her.  I have hesitated to publish these in our family blog because of their intimate value to Anita knowing that she would not want anyone to make light of her valued possessions.  In discussions with my daughters, I have agreed to share them with you recognizing that it will give you some insights into our wonderful life together.  As I re read these two letters, I realized that my feelings for Anita are no different today than they were 65 years ago.  With the above in mind, I have written a preface to the letters written to my wife Anita in the summer of 1950.

When I was discharged from the U.S. Army in June of 1947, I had volunteered to become a member of the U.S. Army Reserve.  After spending two quarters in school at Utah State University from January to June of 1949, Anita and I were married in September of 1949 in the Salt Lake Temple and I returned to Logan, Utah with my bride to continue my college education. The resources that was available for my education was the G I Bill of Rights, $ 105 per month for married students.  The money provided by the G.I. Bill of Rights was hardly enough to get along on for married couples.  It came to my attention that I could volunteer to become an officer in the Army reserve by joining the ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corp) and be paid a monthly stipend of about $ 100.  Being desperate to support my family, I saw this as an opportunity to nearly double our educational income.  I joined the ROTC in October of 1949 shortly after returning to school.  Classes were held two or three times per week and college credit was given.  The “hitch” was that the ROTC required a six week summer camp at an Army base. For our class, the base was located in Dayton, Ohio.  Everything seemed to be working out well for us and we planned that Anita would go back to her parents’ home during the ROTC summer training camp which was to occur in the summer of 1950.

During the spring quarter of 1950, Anita became pregnant and had lots of morning sickness for which Dr. Craigun of Logan attended to during her pregnancy.  After a few months, Dr. Craigun assured us we would have a baby boy in January of 1951.  We were so very happy about the news, but sad, at the same time, regarding the prospects of being separated for six weeks during the summer.

On June 25 1950, the U.S. decided to enter the conflict between North and South Korea by assisting the South Korean government.  The result was that all army reservists were called into active duty.  However, those who were in the ROTC were exempt from the call at the initial time of the conflict.  As the need arose later in the war, Officers could be called to duty.  What a blessing for us!    This becomes the context in which these two letters were written. I have briefly summarized briefly pertinent points below:

1.    1 A very naive young man unfamiliar with the needs of a pregnant wife soon to have a baby boy.

2.    2 These were the days without ultrasound.

3.    3 Fear of being called up to serve in the Korean War.

4.     4A father-in-law in Oregon wanting his son-in-law to come and make a good living for his daughter.

5.     5A very lonely husband, afraid of his own shadow, trying to build courage, uncertain of the future.

Letters

23 July 1950

My Darling Wife:

After I sent the letter to you today, we went over to the main PX and I purchased many things, some of which I hope you will like.  I borrowed a little money, I don’t know whether I did right or not.  They had baby clothes and articles of all kinds.  I spent about 8 dollars on our little boy to be.  They seemed so cheap and I figured I couldn't pass some of them up.  Is $2.50 too much to pay for a dozen diapers?  I only got a dozen as it was all they had.  I got a crib blanket for $1.90.  I don’t know much about things like this, but I got two receiving blankets for $0.90.  I’m still not quite clear as to the use of them.   I also got the cutest little romper you ever saw.  Of course, he won’t use it for a year, but for $1.20, I couldn’t go wrong, or could I?    I also got a little bottle warmer.  Claire says they really come in handy.  It was $1.60.  Now I know how much fun you have been having.  You just don’t know what a thrill I got out of buying those things.  It was so much fun.  I hope you will like what I got you.  I’m never much good at satisfying your taste, however I love to try, do you mind?  You know it is wonderful what you and I have together.  Especially what I have: a wife who is patient and so lovable.  I find it positively impossible to go on each day without her.  It seems the day will never end unless I have a kiss or a touch from you, my darling.  Do you doubt my love being so strong, that I would do anything to keep from being pulled away from you again.  I don’t know how I’ll stand it if I ever am forced to leave you.  That day had best not come.   We now have one week and five days before I can start to meet you.   This next week will be the most trying I assure you.  They plan on cracking down quite a bit.  If I just don’t do anything rash, I’ll be OK.   I become more brave each day.

Tomorrow is Sunday and the weekend is only half gone.  I've never seen them go so slow.  Honey, I’m so tired tonight, I’m going to go to bed now.  I didn't get much sleep on that soft ground last night and my kicks aren't any to lively.  I’m very grateful for you and love you more than I can tell you.  I will tell you soon and show you – how eternally I’ll always love you

Roy

                                                                                                                        23 July 1950

Darling:

It is now Sunday afternoon and I find myself as always dreaming of you.   Two weeks from tomorrow and I can hold you in my arms.  You just don’t know how glorious that day will be.  I’ve been sitting here for the past ten minutes trying to express to you, to think of a way I can tell you how much I love you and how lonely I am for you to be with me.  I’m listening to them play the 3^rd man theme.  Have you ever seen anyone love sick or home sick?  That’s exactly how I look now, believe me.  I guess I should be writing a cheerful and happy letter, because I only have two weeks left here.  But, those two weeks will be like years.  How long can a man try  to appear happy without his wife?  

I’m sorry for the way I act, and for the many times I have hurt you.  I don’t deserve to be blessed with a wonderful wife like you.  I’ll always try to be the best kind of a husband for you and the best kind of a father for our children.

Enough of my crying.  I just plain love you and it hurts to be away from you and it always will.   And, in two weeks it will take more than the average man to make me leave you again.

Since bivouac, I just haven’t felt up to much.  We ran around all that day after we came back.  I should have gone to bed and rested.  I tried to get it all last night.  My kidneys are sure sore.  It must have been from sleeping on the ground Friday night.  I hope I’ll never forget all the things that we have done here.  May they all be a reminder that the army is good only for the life of a dog.

I washed my garments just after chow this noon.  My first pair is just about gone.  Did I tell you I’m converted into buying nylon garments from now on?  They are really worth it.

I just got some pictures back yesterday.  It is the ones I took at Phyllis’ and Ken’s  They aren’t good at all.  After you see the one of me don’t show it to anyone else.  I have made a few notes on the back of each one.  I should be getting my color shots back soon too.

Gosh!  It looks as if it will rain again.  The sky is sure dark.  I’ve never seen a summer quite like this.  Are you having good weather there all the time?

Honey, if I get a job lined up there at the college, don’t you think it would be best if I took it instead of going to Eugene to work?  I’m not sure whether you are completely sold on that idea.  I assure you, honey, it won’t be a matter of just starting school then having to quit because of being called.  I’m sure enough to plan on finishing school.  Believe me, I wouldn't plan it just to make a hardship on you.  If that was what gave you the idea that I should go to Eugene and start work, well, please don’t worry about me having to go.  So why don’t you write and give me some more of your ideas.  If you come on the train, tell me where and the exact time you’ll be in.  This fellow Reed Izatt hasn't said anything more about coming down to take us home if you come in to Ogden.  If it is late at night, maybe I can borrow his car and get you that way.  I don’t want you to have to ride in a bus after you get to Ogden or Salt Lake.  Do you think Mrs. Barlow will let us stay that night at her place?  I’ll see her as soon as I arrive.  I figure we’ll be there in Logan about noon Monday.  We are going to drive it as fast as we can without stopping very much.  Personally, I hope we don’t stop at all.  I’m for getting there just as quickly as possible.  I guess there isn't anything that will travel that fast. 

Honey, would you do me a favor?  Send me some of your clothes sizes, or something you would really like to have. (That is, that I can buy).  I didn't say I wanted to buy it now, maybe next year.

I’ll bet you are getting tired of listening to me yak on and on.  I never get tired of writing, it’s the only way I cab talk to you.  Anyway,  I’d better close for now.

Darling, please remember the love I have for you is endless and we shall also have endless days together.  You know the song “ I want to be loved by Inspiration, I want to be loved by you tonight” ?  That’s my song to you.  I love you, darling, with all my heart forever.

Roy

RHB