Tibitha Gover

Photo Discovery

In looking through and sorting a collection of photos and other memorabilia, we found a photo of an unidentified person that was probably related to my wife, Anita. The name on the back of the photo was “Tabitha Gover?” Anita could not recognize the person in the photo. So, I went to New Familysearch as I only had a name to search for. The search resulted in the name being found with three different entries all with the same birth date, 14 February 1897. One entry produced the same birth date but the place was Gilmer, R #2 Texas. The “contributor” for these entries was “ LDS Church membership Records”. However, each of these entries showed that she was not connected to anyone, i.e. no parents, husband, just a single name.

Isabelle Josephine Crouch, Anita’s great grandmother, was married three times, one of which was to Samuel Banks Gover. That marriage produced three children: Maggie Armenta, Olive Belle, and Leonard Crouch. The previous marriage of Isabelle Josephine Crouch was to William Hector Lee which produced two children: Brunson Lester Lee and Chester Arthur Lee. William Hector Lee died in 1884 leaving his wife with two boys, Brunson and Chester. Isabelle Lee remarried Samuel Banks Gover in 1886 after which three more children were born. Samuel Banks Gover died in 1898 and Isabelle Josephine Gover was again left with children, this time five children.

The 1900 census indicated that Mrs. I.J. Gover had five children and all were living at that time and they were listed in this census as sons and daughter. An additional child, one year of age, Hector Gover, was also given and noted as being a grandson. Obviously Tabitha Gover did not fit into the Crouch/Gover family. Tabitha Gover, therefore must be a married name. Leonard Gover was the only male child that could produce a Gover descendant.

Sure enough, new familysearch produced a Leonard Gover married to a Tabitha Head. Thus it appeared that the photo we have is of Tabitha Head Gover, wife of Leonrad Gover. That marriage produced seven children, the last of whom was Reba Josephine Gover. A note on the back of our photo said, “ give to Reba Cartchner”. Returning again to familysearch it showed the Reba was married to “Dean Laws Kartchner”. The last name spelled with a K instead of a C. This confirmed that we have the photo of Reba’s mother.

Upon reflection, Anita remembered that Aunt Tabitha and Uncle Leonard were frequent visitors to her family when she was a young child. We also remembered when we spent a summer living with Aunt Armenta, Uncle Leonard’s sister. We called her Aunt Menty and she was married to Luther Bailey. I worked for Del Monte canning tomatoes that summer. One day I found a ten dollar bill walking to their home from work. Before going to their place, I stopped and bought a gallon of ice-cream and Uncle Luther thought I had brought them the greatest gift imaginable, a wonderful memory.

The other children living in the Gover home in 1900 was Brunson Lee, Chester Lee and Hector Gover, a grandson, (to Isabelle Josephine Gover), born in1899. Who were his parents? Of course, Chester Arthur Lee was the grandfather of Anita and the father of her mother, Edna Magnon Lee Loe. This interesting discovery occurred at the early morning hour of 1:30 am, Jan 13, 2012, a few hours after the birthday of our son Kevin Ross Brooks.

To Turn Our Hearts

Although this blog mostly concerns family history regarding the Brooks family and extended lines, I have often expressed my thoughts regarding the work of family history. This blog is an expression of recent thoughts on family history work.

I recently attended a meeting of family history consultants in Lake Oswego, Oregon. The speaker, Webster, was from Ogden, Utah and was an area director for family history. He began his talk by introducing the topic “Family History and Salvation”. The suggestion was that family history work should be considered as a resource for fulfilling the three objectives of the Church, i.e. Redeeming the Dead, Preaching the Gospel throughout the world and Strengthening its members. This new suggestion is titled “To Turn the Hearts”. The phrase comes from a scripture in Malachi, verses 5 and 6 in the last chapter: “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” We know the Elijah has already appeared and conferred the keys needed to redeem the dead. This is evidenced by the great surge in genealogy throughout the world, i.e. finding our ancestors and connecting ourselves to our fathers and the extensive building of temples. This seems to fulfill the later part of the prophecy in Malachi of turning the heart of the children to their fathers. I have often wondered how the first part of Malachi’s prophecy comes into play, “turn the heart of the fathers to the children.”

I believe there is strong evidence that the world of departed spirits and the world of the living upon this earth are closely connected. Bruce R. McConkie upon addressing a group of assembled saints referred to his father making a statement a few hours before his passing, saying; my children, you have always been in my prayers and you will continue to be in my prayers after I leave this life. I believe that as we become acquainted with our departed fathers, mothers and others who are deceased, that they become a strength to us who live in a world of turmoil and uncertainty, a world filled with the power of Satan; a strength needed to overcome the forces of evil. The strength comes from our acquaintance with them and them with us. We truly need the strength from our departed fathers to live during these times so that salvation may come to us by being faithful to them and to the Savior.

To those who attend the temple regularly and receive of its power and safety, how is that possible without our hearts being turned to our fathers. A once in a life time trip to the temple would be of little help to us in staving off the influence of Satan. Temples are primarily for redeeming the dead and in the process bring salivation to the living. I am beginning to marvel at how interwoven the two worlds are and the blessings that flow from one to the other. Helping God’s children to become acquainted with their fathers is a blessing that flows from the fathers to the children and is of great value to the children of men during these latter days before the Savior comes to dwell with them. We realize the importance that our living fathers have upon their children, but often overlook the significance that our fathers who have passed from this life have upon us. What a great blessing it would be if the living fathers would sit down with their children and help them to become acquainted and develop a love with the grandfathers who have passed into the spirit world. Might they feel: ”I cannot get involved with sinful things because it would dishonor my grandfathers whom I love so very much”?

I hope my invited authors will respond to these thoughts and perhaps provide any personal experiences that are related to this great family history work.

RHB

Childhood Memories

Anita Loe Brooks

Part II

Our folks loved fishing and camping. Most of our “vacations” consisted of spending a great deal of time and energy setting up, cooking meals, heating water and cooking. Mother was the designated “head honcho” when it came to the meals. She planned the menus, made the assignments and followed through with complete command. She was an excellent cook and loved every minute of it! As I reminisce about these times I realize more and more the great heritage I enjoy. Our families were very close….two brothers and one sister marrying two sisters and one brother!!!

One of the sadnesses of life comes when one realizes that the opportunity of really having a relationship and getting to know the family members who live a distance away can never be really known or understood.

One of Mother’s older brother, Barney Lindley Lee married a girl from Salt Lake City who had been very active in the Church. (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints…the Mormons) .She had been raised in a very strong, active home and knew much about the programs. It was she who picked us up each week and took us to primary. We loved it! I personally feel a deep debt of gratitude for her faithfulness in giving us that opportunity. Grandpa Lee had joined the Church in Kelsey, Texas. Being the roustabout that he was he didn’t spend a lot of time with his family. Mother was usually sent to live with her grandmother, Belle, (Isabelle Crouch Lee Cummings) while the boys and Grandpa worked the “crops”. She was usually called sometime in the early summer when the crops came in and she would become the camp cook. As a result, she actually never completed a school year. That was always a deep regret that she didn’t ‘make her grades’. However she stepped up and was the ‘bookkeeper” when Loe Brothers Trucking got going!

In 1941 our lives changed dramatically! Japan bombed Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, sinking many ships and killing many of our service men. This began s new way of life for us. The United States declared war on Japan. Rationing became a way of life: gas, rubber. Butter. Coffee, Silk, Bananas, Chocolate, Sugar, Shoes. Metal was collected and sold. Air raid drills in school to practice being safe in school if bombed. Those classrooms near windows went out into the halls and knelt down covering our heads, others went out into the halls and knelt down covering their heads. This was shortly after my parents had built the “home of their dreams”. It was on a hillside overlooking the waters of the bays of Oakland and San Francisco. We had to cover all of our windows with heavy, black drapes so that the lights would not be seen off the coast from enemy aircraft if they came to bomb us! My father was an air raid warden that would walk the streets during these blackouts to see if there were any visible lights from the windows. It was such a frightening thing to see him put on his helmet and flack jacket and leave the house. If any light could be seen from your home you were told to put them out or have them shot out! Our central hallway in our house was our “shelter”. We could go into it and have lights that could not be seen from the outside…..I remember we had a bucket of sand and a shovel to put out a fire is need be.

I was 10 years old when the war began. The accrual bombing of Pearl Harbor was early on Sunday morning. I remember vividly feeling the fear and disturbance of “things as usual” but did not understand the magnitude of what had happened. When we went to school Monday morning we were immediately sent home and told not to return until our parents were notified. I still remember the chill of fear I felt when the air raid sirens went off! Being in the location we were, it was not unusual too hear them echoing even from other areas. One evening we watched search lights roaming the skies, I suppose they were looking for “unidentified” aircraft. With the location of the navel bases in the San Francisco Bay there was a lot of activity most of the time.

Our lives went on pretty much as usual, limited by a few wartime restrictions. All the girls, Wanda, Evelyn, Mirial , Belva and myself were taking dance lessons…tap and ballet. Our mothers would car pool to get us to lessons. One evening we were at our teacher’s home practicing for a recital coming up. The sirens went off so of course we had to turn out the lights! There were probably 50 students of various ages there. Candles were lit so it would not be so dark….most of us there were really frightened and crying. I don’t remember what they did to calm us down, but I think we sang and played little games for a while. This same night the fog rolled in so densely that you could not see your hand held up in front of your face. Heavy, dense fog was not a rarity in the bay area, and during that time of blackouts, sirens and underlying fear it somewhat scarred me for life. To this day fog is a very unsettling thing to me! ……anyway! Mother and Aunt Miriam decided we should start walking toward Uncle Ted’s house which was just a short distance away. We did!!! Mother, Aunt Miriam, Aunt Sidna ,Wanda, Evelyn, Me, Belva, Mirial. Trudging, frightened, crying. We thought we heard footsteps..which further frightened us……we did! Uncle Ted had started worrying about us and was out looking for us. We all huddled together and made our way to his house, which offered refuge and safety.

I think back now on the sacrifices that were made by our parents, to give us music lessons, dance lessons, family recitals and the great advantage of feeling so talented with a built in audience ……it was just wonderful.

During this war time nylon was invented. Instead of using silk, which they needed for parachutes, they now used nylon. It was a great breakthrough for the hosiery industry…..and for the vanity of women! Because the main resource for silk was Japan, and because we were now at war with the Japanese Nation. We would go to the hosiery mill, stand in line for hours to get two pair each. I don’t remember if we always used the hosiery we purchased, but we always bought whatever the allotment was. I remember specificly how difficult elastic was to obtain, but mother sewed quite a few of our undergarments and would use buttons to close the waistbands of our underwear.

Victory gardens were a very big deal! But no novelty at our house. My Mother was an avid gardener. She always had a big, beautiful garden. Big enough that she would can bottle after bottle of products from it. Beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, chard, lettuce, corn….you name it, she grew it! Mother was a very ambitious woman. She canned, sewed, gardened and cleaned house. Oh! Did she clean house! We washed walls and woodwork every week. Almost everything we did that was “fun” depended on “getting our work” done. As always, memories either dim or magnify with time….but I’m certain that mine are pretty accurate in this regard!

Many things were rationed during this period; mostly things that would feed or clothe the soldiers. Any material or substance that would help in the war effort was very hard to come by. Also, at this time, I became aware of margarine! Until then, Mother and Daddy usually had a cow, chickens and a very large garden. With the war effort and the many rationings of essentials, things were invented …or contrived to help us feel that life was “normal”. One horrible memory I have is of margarine! Because mother and Daddy usually found a way to have a garden and animals we were very used to raw milk. During the war this was not possible due to essentials that were diverted to the war effort. At this time Mother began to use margarine! I came in a one pound block with a little packet of yellow food coloring. My job was to mix….and mix……and mix these together until it looked like butter. Mother, being the perfectionist she was could not stand to see on tiny fleck of white. We would mix…and mix….and mix until…..at last….we had BUTTER! It, of course, still tasted like margarine, but it was yellow like butter!

Canning was a way of life in our (the extended) family. All the aunts would get together and have an assembly line. One of the girl cousins job was the washing and sterilizing of the jars. It was back breaking! We snapped beans, peeled peaches, pears and apricots, corn and tomatoes. My parents were very frugal…if we could glean a field of fruit or vegetables, we did. How well I remember the itch of peach fuzz! It was work, but being together was always fun and I look back with warmth in my heart. We loved our families and enjoyed any activity which allowed us to be together. Much “encouraging” was done to keep our minds and hands focused on the tasks at hand.

During the war all the men that were in jobs supporting the war effort were “frozen” in their jobs. If they quit they were drafted! Mother’s brother “Ted” (Serres Parron Lee) quit his job and was drafted into the Marines. I remember what a traumatic, sorrowful time it was to all the family. A family as large as ours had been spared the anguish of seeing any of our close relatives serve under hazardous circumstances during war times.

Being young and starry eyed those days were magic for young girls as innocent and pretty as we were. Having taken tap dancing all those years as children made very good “ballroom and jitterbug” dancers….and flirts. We were allowed to go to the Stake dances in downtown Oakland as long as we stayed together as a group…that is going to the dance together and coming home together. One night Merva , (Aunt Elsies’ daughter) met the man of her “dreams” and we let her talk us into her going home with him instead of with us. She was supposed to come immediately home….we would wait outside for her and all go into the house together. Well, she didn’t come straight home and we waited …..and waited, getting more and more certain she had been kidnapped, murdered ….or worse! When she finally showed up we were so relieved we forgot to be mad. BUT……….we never did split up again! !

We had wonderful fun times. That was before the term “extended family” came into use, but ours literally was an “extended” family. Almost everything we did, we did together . One wonderful memory I have is of a camping trip we took in about 1945 or 46. My Dad had broken his foot and he was unable to work for some time. Mother and Daddy decided to take ALL the kids on a camping trip. (all being Wanda, Evelyn, Fred, Mirial, Barbara, Belva Cal and me). The respective parents were to come on the weekend for an especially good time. Mother had planned all the meals for the week and brought the necessary food in ice chests. Roasted hot dogs (over the camp fire) were on the menu for one of the days. When Mother went to get the wieners out to cook over the campfire pit , there weren’t any!! A small hole was in the wrapper. She questioned all the girls and on one knew anything about the meat (about 5 pounds). She just knew we were responsible for the missing meat. We began to accuse each other…then went to the confidant mode encouraging a confession in private. (“you can tell ME if you really took them!) We began to squabble with each other. No one confessed to the taking of the meat!

My Father was a master at using situations and being able to get to the heart of any matter. He was not a fusser or lecturer but had a unique understanding of human nature. He decided to have a trial…”like they used in the Bible days,” he said. He lined us all up in a straight line. He then explained that he was going to throw a rock up in the air and whomever it fell onto was the guilty party! Of course this began to draw a large crowd of onlookers. Here is this man on crutches, with all these children….(11 girls and 2 boys) lined up…ready to feel the wrath of mother justice! One….Two…. Three…and he threw the rock! We all scattered like a hive of bees that had been hit with a stick. At this time Mother realized that all the children were not in line! So they again rounded us up, this time we were ALL there. They had excused the fact that Cal wasn’t there, Mother saying that “of course, he couldn’t be responsible for the five pounds of missing meat! But we all insisted that he had to be in line too!

Daddy tossed the rock high into the air and over our heads of course so we would not get hit. At this point Cal broke out of line and ran around behind us hoping to avoid being hit, but somehow He ran right under that rock! He did indeed turn out to be the guilty one! He had poked a little hole in the package and fed those hot dogs…one by one…to all the dogs in the camp! All of us there of course remembers it a bit differently, but it has been told and retold countless times, always bringing back wonderful memories.

Another camping experience comes to mind. We had gotten into our camp site early. Set up camp, played awhile, eaten our dinner, played some more and had our campfire activities, then went to bed. We were all settled in for the night. A rather sizeable group of adults came in later. They were making an unusual amount of noise for that time of night, i.e. loud talking, raucous laughter. …quite obviously alcohol had been part of their activities during the evening. Uncle Roy went and told them we had a camp full of women and kids and would they be quieter. They persisted in their partying and rowdy behavior until the wee hours of the morning . Daddy and Uncle Roy, with a bit of malice I’m sure…woke all we kids at day break the next morning. They told us we were going to have a baseball game. They placed home plate right in front of the tent of the rowdy campers! We played and screamed and hollered making as much noise as a group of kids could make. Pretty soon, the campers came our and said “Please, we get the message.” I’m sure they had hang-overs, headaches and whatever goes along with a night of drinking and partying. But they would not let us quit! We played until the rowdy campers got up and moved their camp! “More ways to kill a horse, then choking him to death on butter.”

We had many wonderful trips to Clear Lake in Northern California. Four families with kids and much unsophisticated camping gear made for quite a “hillbilly” appearance. Blankets and tarps were used as windbreakers. We slept right on the ground on blankets. No one in the family (that I remember) had tents. The main focus on our camping trips was fishing. We caught hundreds of fish the week or ten days we were there. Our parents were masters of innovation, doing all sorts of things with absolutely no equipment. We would have big boxes submerged in the lake that held the live fish in the water until they were to be fried for dinner each night. Oh! What wonderful fish fries they were!

Mother was the camp cook and she cooked over and open fire with very primitive equipment. Is there anything more wonderful until this day than the smell of food being cooked over an open fire? There is something very nostalgic to me when I smell bacon being cooked over an open fire with fried potatoes, bacon and cantaloupe!

Family memories are so precious! As I write these memories I seem to be living them again as vividly as if they were just now happening in my life.

Each Christmas we would draw names for gift giving throughout the family. It was a guarded secret whose name you got and who got your name. For much of the year we would sneak around and drop hints and listen carefully to find out what that person wanted most. Great fun!! It was also Mirial”s Birthday! (Mirial Arlene Lee, daughter of Barney and Miriam Lee) What a great advantage for her!

She always had a party on New Years Eve (before the family party) when we found out who got our name and what present we received from our secret namesake. The excitement was at a high level, and we looked forward to this party every year. Christmas day too, was an especially exciting day because as soon as we finished opening our gifts and had breadfast we made the rounds of all the family to see what Santa had brought them. Of course, all of we girls were so happy to show off our new babies!

Once in a very great while our parents would leave all the kids home alone while they went out to dinner. (I can’t remember ever having a baby sitter.) Most often we would go with them….This was our opportunity to play our favorite game’ “Who’s Got My Liver?”

The plot: A grandfather had died…, he was buried in a cemetery. A kid was told to go to the market and buy some liver. His mother gave him the money and off he went! He decides that he will spend the money on candy for himself…which he does! On the ways home he starts worrying about the trouble he is going to be in when he returns home without the liver. So on the way home he stops at the cemetery …digs up grandpa and cuts out his liver to take home for dinner!!!!.....

In the middle of the night, ( the lights are all turned off at this point) the kid awakens hearing a spooky voice saying, (over and over) “WHO’S GOT MY LIVER ? The end of the game comes when the dead grandpa catches the one that got his liver. All of this of course, is played out in the dark. IT SCARED US TO DEATH!! A sideline to this is in 1949, at my wedding shower, this is one of the games we played!! Vivian ( Roy’s sister) somehow got under one of the beds in Aunt Sidna and Uncle Roy’s house to hide, it was only about 5 inches off the floor, we had to lift it up to get her out! Now remember…all of us were 17 and 18 years old!

Our holidays were fun filled and exciting. Fortunately our parents were young and full of life…no extra money, but they were creative in the things they did for recreation. We always had firecrackers on the 4^th of July. Each Easter we had a family picnic in the park, our Mothers worked very hard each year creating Easter Bonnets to wear and model.

One of the things I greatly appreciate and admire about my parents, they had a great desire to see their children develop talents and succeed at those things we undertook to do. They offered us music lessons, dance lessons, Mother even saw to it that I took “elocution” lessons. Learning to speak correctly…give “readings” and feel comfortable before people at a fairly early age. I feel much gratitude for those sacrifices that they made.

In 1945 Aunt Sidna and Uncle Roy made a trip to Arkansas and Texas. They invited me to go along and it was a wonderful adventure. Both Aunt Sidna and Uncle Roy had such different personalities from my folks. They were constantly “fussing”. Not arguing necessarily, but Aunt Sidna was a squealer and a “fusser”. We just loved to tease her and get her “going”. She was great fun, a much different personality than my Mother. Mother didn’t laugh easily. If she really thought something was funny, she would make a little “psssss” sound, which was the extent of her laughter.

One experience we had while on that trip to Arkansas was especially frightening. We were driving along the continental divide area in Colorado when the lights on the car went out. It was pitch black…no other cars on the road! Uncle Roy stopped the car as soon as he could, hoping he would not run off into the canyon.

We were on a steep mountain incline, not knowing how close to the edge we were. Aunt Sidna opened the car door and stuck her foot out trying to feel how far from the bank of the road we were. We girls got out of the car hugging close to the car so as not to fall into the canyon. Uncle Roy had us get ou onto the highway and watch for oncoming cars. When we saw cars coming we would start striking matches as fast as we could so they could see us and not run into us. We didn’t even have a flashlight! A fuse had burned and fortunately he had an extra in the glove box! He got things working and we were on our way, but it was a really scary experience.

While we were in Arkansas we visited many of the family members we had never met. Our Grandparents were known as Mama and Papa Loe. Grandma was cutting up chicken for dinner. I was watching Mama Loe and asked her what she was going to do with the guts. Mama Loe said “Why I’m going to feed them to the dogs. What does you mother usually do with them?” With a very wide eyed look I said “my mother usually makes Chicken Gut gravy!!”. Mama Loe soon learned I was the family joker, but she loved telling and retelling that story to everyone …especially when she asked someone to “pass the chicken gut gravy”!

We went on to visit Grandpa Lee’s mother in Gilmer’ Texas. She wasn’t as old as she seemed, I’m sure, but she kept every one on their toes. We girls wore shorts most of the time because it was so hot and humid….but they certainly weren’t “short shorts”. Every time we would get close to her she would whack us with her hickory cane and say “ go get you some clothes on”. We learned to stay out of the cane’s reach. What a fun memories !

Social Networking

Here is network but it is not very social. In fact, it is quite deadly. Those caught in the network loose their lives.

I have for some time resisted using the social networks of “Facebook” and others. Maybe it is because I’m not a very socializing person or maybe because I’m too much of a private person. Anyway, Google joined the social networking world by putting up a site called “Google +”. I don’t remember who it was, but someone invited me to become a member of family circles and friends. After listening to many arguments for engaging in a social network, I decided to join up. I put up my profile and photo and made my first post to the site last week. While I can see great advantage in staying in close contact with family and friends, sharing activities through communicating and highlighting events that occur within the family, I also see it as a great distraction away from some of life’s priorities.

There is no doubt that we need to communicate among ourselves and build strong relationships among family members, but are we focusing upon life’s events that really build relationships? All of my grandchildren are anxious to share the lives of their children with us as grandparents and more importantly with their parents. I find joy in seeing our children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, prosper and in finding joy themselves in righteous living and activities. I also become saddened when they make unwise decisions that may lead to sorrow and unhappiness in their lives.

From my perspective, there are few grandchildren that know very much about their grandparents and fewer that know anything about their great grandparents and perhaps there are none that know anything about ancestors beyond that. Would it not be wonderful to communicate among ourselves stories and activities that we remember about those from whom we descend? Perhaps if we peeled off a few hours per month and got away from the blur of our everyday lives and begin delving into the lives of those from whom we descend, those living as well as those who has passed on, would that not bring about a lasting relationship for eternity? Would it not strengthen our grandchildren and encourage them to be honorable and faithful? All of us are grandchildren of grandparents of which some are living and some are not. For those who have passed on, it becomes more difficult to become acquainted with them and the stories that they would have shared with us if they were living now, but they have their stories. The question is: Who will tell them?

This family Blog has contained the stories of some grandparents as I’ve tried to share with the family some of their lives. Each of you are authors to this blog. As an author you can post stories and highlights of parents or ancestors, but few if any have the time to share. The exception is Charlet Mallett.

Would it not be wonderful if there existed blogs called: “Walker Family History Blog”: “Hull Family History Blog”; “Bennett Family History Blog”: “Reinhart Family History Blog”; “ Giandomenico Family History Blog” ; “Portis Family History Blog”. I’m sure you get the point:

There are more than one set of grandparents all of which have stories that could contribute to the lives of our children.

Well, perhaps the social network is the place to share such stories, if not, then it is a distraction to building meaningful family relationships. This blog seems like a natural outlet for sharing family history. There is more value in history than we can imagine and we should be using it to strengthen our youth.

RHB

A Chapter in the Life of Anita June Loe

THE TOMBSTONE TOLD WHEN SHE DIED

……MORE THE THICK STONE CANNOT TELL

"Finding a clever, original or even an interesting way to begin my personal history has been somewhat difficult for me. I have been so blessed in every facet of my life that as I reflect back, it seems too good to be true, even to me. I was truly born with a special heritage. I don’t believe in “pre-destination”, but the fateful circumstances surrounding the meeting of the Lee’s and the Loe’s could make a believer of even a skeptic such as I.

My father, Ray (a Loe), his brother Roy and their sister Elsie, met my mother Magnon (a Lee), her sister Sidna and their brother, Serres Paran (Ted) in the Deep South in the late 1920’s. They were in the throes of the “great depression”. History indicates that it was much worse economically there, than in many other areas of the nation. None of the Lee’s nor Loe’s were formally educated, very much people of the “land”. As they got acquainted with one another, they realized that each possessed some qualities that could help them in “getting by” during this period of American History, which would come to be known as the “great depression”. Being very musically talented, (my Mother’s brother, Bronson could play any instrument with strings on it!). The girls were young and beautiful, also musically talented and “full of life”, they put together a musical show, “Aaron Slick from Punkin’ Creek” and took it “on the road”.

It was a musical play about people in very much their situations “in real life”. I believe the price of admission was ten cents. They traveled in Arkansas and Texas eking out a living. As time passed and destiny would dictate, these energetic, vital “troopers” fell in love, married and continued to knit together as family. Where one went, they all eventually went and continued to stay extremely close. Very often they “would pool their resources and maintain a home together. My Mother, Magnon,“nonnie”), and her sister, Sidna (“tissie”) and their brother, Serres Paran (Ted), married my Father, Calvert “Ray”, his brother Roy, and their sister, Elsie. As a result, I had cousins that were “sisters”, as close to me as my only birth one, Belva. There was Wanda, Evelyn, Merva (Pat), Mirial and Barbara. My brother Calvert and cousin Fred were buddies and it seemed like they always needed “watching”. We had many great times playing in a tire! We would get into it, the others would roll us down an incline until we bounced off the garage wall! Another favorite pastime was playing with the flowers. Nasturtiums were a favorite because they had a round, flat leaf. Those served, as our dishes and the actual flowers and rose petals were the food. We had baby dolls that we loved! Giving them water until they wet their diapers, then changing them when they wet. We used our mothers as role models in “mothering”. What fun it was!

Most of my childhood recollections center on our home and extended family activities. What Wanda, Evelyn and Mirial did, Belva and I were also involved in. We all took tap dancing at very young ages and got quite good! Our mothers were very adept at making sure we practiced every day, even though it sometimes involved a little flip of a switch when we sloughed off! We danced at the Worlds Fair in San Francisco in 1939, and that was very proudly told by our parents for quite some time. Wanda and Evelyn were so tiny and cute, I was larger and more serious in nature, and not so light on my feet, so Mother started me in “Elocution Lessons”. I started memorizing and giving “readings” at every family occasion. It has served me well and I have enjoyed the opportunities this has brought to me throughout my life. I participated in many speech contests and school related activities in drama, debate and extemporaneous contests.

When my brother Cal was born, Mother developed a condition called ‘milk-leg’. I think it was blood clots. Daddy contrived a box with lights in it, Mother had to keep her legs elevated, so she laid, with her legs in that box for about a year. Grandpa Lee and his wife, “grandma pansy” lived in our driveway in a small tailor for that year. They would take Cal into Mother so she could nurse him. One of my most vivid, yet frightening, memories is of my Mother, crying . As I look back on it now, as an adult, I can’t imagine the thoughts and fears she must have had. I know they had bought some property and were making plans to build a larger, new home. I’m sure she imagined that dream coming to an end. Another vivid memory I have is when she got out of bed and began to do a few things, she immediately wanted to start sewing. She had a treadle sewing machine and I would sit on the floor and push the treadle back and forth. It was quite a while before she got an electric sewing machine and boy….was I happy!

Another of my fondest memories is going to the movies! We would hurry to get our work done…household ….yard work …or any other chores!! . . . and then off we would go with our 15 cents; 10c for the movie and five cents for a frozen banana. We would nibble and lick and do every thing we could do to make it last the longest! Mirial had some sort of secret because she could always make hers last longer than anyone else. We loved the actors and it became encouragement for our imaginations to go into gear and act out all the movies we had seen. Nelson Eddy, Jeanette McDonald, Tyrone Power, Joan Crawford, John Wayne, Maureen O’Hara, Errol Flynn and many others. We didn’t have the beautiful, thick tresses like the feminine heroines in the movie, so we would use pinch clothes pins to lengthen our hair. Oh! We felt so beautiful!! We knew the name’s of all the characters in the movie, their loves and co-stars. We had hours and hours of great fun. We didn’t have television but we did have fanciful imaginations. We listened to the radio plays also. “Lux Theater”, “I Love A Mystery” “Jack Armstrong, the All American Boy”, “Inner Sanctum”. The daytime soaps were “Stella Dallas”, “Life begins at 40”,”Fibber McGee and Molly”.

I also learned the value of work. As I became old enough to do chores, I did them! My work was mostly in the house. Cooking, cleaning and learning from Mother, skills I have used all of my life. Mother usually washed the dishes and I dried them and put them away. She was an excellent homemaker and we lived in a spotless house, with meals served on time, sitting down at the table together and cleaning up afterward. My memory is that Belva my sister usually got the “bellyache” and got to go to the bathroom a lot, but that could be a little distorted in my mind! Cal of course, being a boy, was never expected to do household chores. Men and women’s jobs were very clearly defined in our life style. That too, changed with the times, I remember in later years of his helping out in the kitchen on rare occasions. Mother’s illness after Cal’s birth kind of changed Daddy’s concept of His and Her responsibilities, I think.

When a young person in the Mormon Church turns twelve, they advance into a more social atmosphere. We attended a weekly meeting called the Mutual Improvement Association…. commonly called “mutual”. We continued to learn the doctrines of the Church along with dances, acting, and socially progressing. Naturally this included boys and “crushes”. I had gotten my growth early and was taller than everyone, so I didn’t often feel comfortable in my body. The other girls were tiny and “cute”, which really made me aware of my “un-cuteness”!! I feel such gratitude in my heart for the programs and development that the Church offered to all of us. Our parents were wonderful, and took every opportunity to help us develop talents and gave us opportunities to “perform” at every family event. Our family got together often , the love and “connection” is a feeling I draw on often, even today as an adult. Back to MIA! Along with learning the doctrines we were given so much acceptance socially. The leaders made certain that there were no favorites. We were taught all the steps to the waltz, fox trot, rumba, samba and of course and always the jitterbug. We were all great dancers so that was a wonderfully happy time. During the war, we would all get together and ride the bus to downtown Oakland to the stake dances. There we met lots and lots of service men from the Oak Knoll army camp. We danced our hearts out. What fun we had…hay rides, skating, hiking even a little horseback riding which I was not good at. Scared to death!!! The park above Oakland was just beautiful. Eucalyptus trees, pines and the big sequoias. I remember Mother serving in the Primary Presidency and how seriously she took that responsibility. We had home teachers regularly and Daddy got quite friendly with one man in particular. I guess at one time He asked Daddy why he was’nt a member of the Church. Daddy said something like “well, no one’s ever asked me!” Of course that sparked the “golden question” and Daddy was baptized into the Church on May 3, 1941. Mother of course, had been baptized as a child in St. George, Utah on May 1, 1921. She also had been sealed to her parents in 1922, Grandpa Lee had joined the Church in Texas and was taking his family to be sealed . Tragedy struck and he lost His wife and two children on the way….another story and very sad!

```My parents didn’t really become “active” until they moved to Oregon in 1946 after my Father’s near fatal heart attack. They made the` move thinking they were going to have to be living “off the land” because of his illness. They bought a small acreage, a cow and a pig…and proceeded to take up their old way of life. Uncle Roy had moved to Oregon earlier, bought a log truck and began “logging”. Soon Daddy felt that was something He could do and soon “Loe Brothers” Logging and Trucking was formed. They worked together until Aunt Sidna had a catastrophic stroke. Uncle Roy dedicated His life…until she died, to her care."

Part of her biography upon the occasion of her birthday, April 20, 1931. To later become the light and life of my life.

RHB